Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I skipped work to stalk him.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Randomize