In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
