I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
