Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
i drank out of a bidet.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
