Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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