Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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