Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
