dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
