so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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