I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
