I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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