Sober January is a disaster.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
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she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
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I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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