i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Randomize
