I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize