I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
