He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Randomize
