also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
