Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
