Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize