A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Best friends brother. Beat that.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
