I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
