I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize