This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
