I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
