im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
