I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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