I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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