im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
porn star boner night. come get it.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
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