wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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