How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I need a burrito and a hug.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
