Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
