I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
