So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
The best revenge is premature balding
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Randomize
