if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
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