i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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