R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
