we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
