Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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