One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
