She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
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