I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
