i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
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