i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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