Well apparently he's into motor boating.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Shame - the story of my life.
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