so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
