Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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