dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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