I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
