You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
