how hairy? two words: wookie tits
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize