She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
