if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
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I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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