i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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