Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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