so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
