I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
