so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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