my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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