I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize