Porn is love you can see.
they need to just BURY HIM!
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
