i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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