He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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