So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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