turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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